Intermediate: Writing (Tues 16/02/10 - 3pm)

Thanks for joining us today in the Writing Workshop for Informal Emails. Some good work was done. The class emails are below. If your work doesn't have any numbers [e.g. (1)] in it, this means your email is great! Please see below for comments.
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By Saori and Katsuyoshi:

Hi,

Thanks for your email. I'm writing because I got married.

How have you been recently?(0) Have you found a girlfriend? I hope you have already found a girlfriend and enjoy your life.

I've been travelling a lot recently. Why don't you come and visit us?

I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.

Take care,
[writer's name]

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By Sakiko and Yang (with the striped shirt):

Hi Fata,

Thank you for having me and being very kind to me every day.(1) I'm sending this message to you because I'm really appreciative. (2) Every time you have cooked vegetarian food for me (3). Sometimes it's really hard (4) and I feel like I am a cow or rabbit. I hope you cook some meat. I'm sending some recipes for beef and pork.

Glad to meet you. Take care. Have a nice day. From your student,
Sakiko
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By Mihagi and Shuichi:

Hi Ruth,

I am writing beause I want to appreciate your helping me. I hope you are well. Are you still reading books every day?

I've got a new friend. My English is getting better, so I could make a foreign friend.

I can't wait to see you.

All the best,
[writer's name]
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By Kohei and Eiko:

Dear [my friend],

Thanks for your email. I am writing because I want you to know my circumstances. Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while, but I've been very busy with study.

How are you? I hope you are well. Please write soon. (5)

I've been travelling a lot recently. I'm attaching a photo of my travel in Auckland.[not finished]
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By Hitomi and Ayako:

Hi Shelly,

Thank you for your nice email. I'm so glad to have it from you. (6) I'm writing because I want you to know about my news.

How are things with you? I saw Mary the other day and she has really changed. She has red hair.

By the way, I have some news (7) to tell you. I'm studying English in New Zealand for a month now. So, I'm writing from NZ. I hope we can meet in three months. I'm looking forward to seeing you again.

Take care,
[writer's name]


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By Sachie and Yang (with the grey t-shirt):

Hi Mother,

Thanks for your email. I am writing because I want to say I'm fine. Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while, but I'm busy studying English. (8)

How are things with you? Did you spend (7) the New Year holiday happily? (9)[not finished]

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Feedback for Saori and Katsuyoshi:

Good work.
How are you recently?- Please use “recently” with present perfect grammar.

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Feedback for Sakiko and Yang (with the striped shirt):

Good work, although your structure is missing your news and questions for your reader.

.(1) Please note: your original said “I’m send the message to youbecause I’m really appreciate.” The correct version is: I'm sending this message to you because I'm really appreciative.

(2) Please note: your original said “Everytime you cooked the vegetable food to me.” The correct version is: Every time you have cooked vegetarian food for me

(3). Please note: your original said “sometimes I’m really hard and I feel like I be the cow or rabbit.” The correct version is Sometimes it's really hard (4) and I feel like I am a cow or rabbit.
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Feedback for Mihagi and Shuichi:

Excellent work! Please note the correct spelling for appreciate has an “e”.
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Feedback for Kohei and Eiko:

Good work! Please note that “Please write soon” is usually in the position of “Take care” or “Lots of love” – at the end.
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Feedback for Hitomi and Ayako:

(6) Please use present perfect and the verb “receive” here. I’m so glad to have received it from you.

(7) By the way, I have some news to tell you. – Please don’t use “a news”, as news is uncountable.

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Feedback for Sachie and Yang (with the grey t-shirt):

Hi Mother,

(8) I’m busy to study English is wrong here. It should be I’m busy + VERBing…

(7) Did you spent = wrong.
(8): Say the New Year holiday, rather than “’Happy New year holiday’
(9) We say “spend time” + ADV. Eg.happily